Monday, January 26, 2009

~Never Lose Your Little Girl Heart~

My mother bought me a framed calligraphy saying several years ago, from one of my artist friends, that says, "Never Lose Your Little Girl Heart". It sits on a shelf in the family room with some other treasures. Whenever I read it, I smile.

I am no longer that little girl. But she thinks I am. What she sees when she looks at me is “that little girl”. And how can she not? She’s my Mom.

She remembers long curly hair. Black patent leather shoes for Sundays. Easter hats and purses. Little white gloves. She remembers boo-boos, band-aids and skinned knees. She remembers first days of school. And Brownie meetings. She remembers first boyfriends. First dates. A beautiful wedding gown purchased with her sewing money. She remembers seeing me pregnant. And two precious baby boys. She remembers. Those long-ago things.

What she no longer remembers is that now, I really am grown up. She can’t tell you what she ate for breakfast. Or that her own mother is no longer alive. She no longer remembers the everyday little things. Like what season this is. Much of the time, she lives in the past.

But like any mother….she still worries. I can walk into her room, on any given day, and she can read me as clearly as if my brain were totally transparent. Even when I try to hide things from her. But there are no more band-aids and kisses to make everything better.

She can still give the best hugs. And she does. More often now than ever before.

So whenever I enter her room at the assisted living facility that is now her home, I can pretend that I AM that little girl with the long curls and the patent leather shoes that she remembers. I can fall into her arms and feel the security and the unconditional love that only my mother can give. And I smile.

This won a Post of the Day Award at David's Authorblog. Thank you, David. I am very honored.


April said...


That was BEAUTIFUL! Definitely put a lump in my throat!

I've often said there's really no other bond quite like that between a mother and a daughter. Though my mom died 8 years ago, we were very close...more like sisters in many regards. I heard her and my dad say on many occasions that no matter how old I became...I would always be their little girl. I feel the same way about my two daughters.

What pretty and sweet photos you posted! It sure sounds like you and your mom have a very special connection, one that transcends time. Relish in all the moments where you can fall into her arms and retreat from the rest of the world.

Coffee Slut said...

I would give anything for a hug from my Mom.
Treasure the moments with her only get one Mom.

Darlene said...

Morning Carol,

That put a smile yet a tear in my eyes this morning. It is so sad to watch as parents or grandparents go back to the past like that. When my grandmother was alive (she had Alzheimers) and couldn't remember anything but the past of taking care of all of her brothers and sisters when they were younger. Whenever I would walk into her room she always wanted to know which one was I?

® ♫ The Brit ♪ ® said...

Hi Carol,
Such a truly beautiful tribute to your Mum! Beautiful words and memories.
My Grandmother suffered for 8 years with Alzheimer's and I know how sad it is to deal with that.
Cherish every single moment with your Mum! If I could have just one more day with my Mum I would play a song that would never end! X

Anonymous said...

Carol - That was simply beautiful! Hugs and prayers!


Anonymous said...

Carol.. you still have that little girl heart.. you teach us well. Hugs.. Nel

Anonymous said...

Even though the parent/child roles may have "switched" between you and your Mom as her health deteriorates, you will, indeed, always be her very own precious little girl. We all celebrate your little girl heart, and your grown woman spirit, both of which make you the precious person you are. Thank you so very much for sharing your experiences and insights with us---it brings the best kinds of tears to my eyes.

My Little Raggedy Blessings said...

That is so beautiful, it brought a smile and a tear all at the same time great big HUGS to you sweetie .


Kat said...

I know this. I know this so well. It is the same way with my dad. And you really wrote it so beautifully.
Thank you. :)

The Pink Birdhouse said...

Carol, wow, another beautifully written post! I loved the pictures and had to smile at the memories of black patent shoes and white gloves, I remember them so well from Easter, and how I loved getting dressed up like that! I too have lost my mom, but what so many said is true, Mom could always make me feel like a little girl again. Nothing beats the hugs Moms can give! Debby

Deanna Lack said...

What a breathtakingly beautiful post. Thanks for making my day sunnier.

Carolyn said...

Hi Carol,
You do tell it so well.I always enjoy your heartwarming posts.
Take care,

Unknown said...

This is a very heart-warming post. Thank you for sharing! :)

BeadedTail said...

Such a beautiful post today. Thanks for sharing.

Giovanna said...

Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful tribute with us. It's so true what you've said. I also have a very close connection with my mom; she is my hero in every sense of the word and there's nothing compare to a hug from her. Thank you so much again for your beautiful post and for brighten up my day with your amazing words.
May God bless all your family always.

storybeader said...

that's beautiful, you brought tears to my eyes and a quiver to my lips.

cherry said...

Carol that made me cry! Sooo touching....very special. You were an adorable child and your Mama was beautiful. cherry

Chrisbeads said...

What a wonderful post, Carol. I hope you can continue to enjoy your Mother/daughter relationship for a long time to come.

Michelle, All Home and Love said...

Hi Carol,
Thanks so much for coming by and I'm glad you found me so I could visit you and your wonderful Etsy store! I'll be off to explore that in a moment.

This post was so sweet and brought a tear to my eye thinking about my own mom. We are very close and although she is not elderly, she has memory issues as well. She, too, may have trouble remembering last week but can tell me clear as day what I wore my first days of school. We're very close.

I've added myself to your followers.

Suldog said...

A bit of lovely, a touch of heartbreaking. Such is life. Very well-written, Carol. God bless the both of you.

CountryDreaming said...

Thank you for sharing your mother with us. What an awesome witness to the bonds of family life, so full of warmth. Your mother's still at her best ... loving. Prayers for you both.

Census said...

As someone who is watching the same thing happen to their mum your post gave me a new outlook on things. It will perhaps help me see past the situation and enjoy the moments whilst they are still there. Thank you!!
Your photographs are priceless!
I promise to try not to loose my Little Girl Heart!!

Ink Obsession Designs said...

That was absolutely beautiful and your pictures are so sweet!

Ballerina Girl said...

Wonderful Carol
and I never want to lose my little girl heart!
My Grandmother was in a similar situation...and I always remember her commenting about my hair.

SandyCarlson said...

Poignant post. Heart-rending. Tells me to love my mom--and everyone else. Wow.

FrenchGardenHouse said...

What a beautiful post. It brought tears to my eyes. you are right, no one will ever look at us like our Moms do. My own Mom is slowly losing her present, I fear, and starting to live in her past, too.
thanks for this post.
xo Lidy

Woman in a Window said...

I'm so glad that you two can still love. It's so difficult for many. And not that it's not difficult for you, but when that love is still there, well, anything is possible.


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david mcmahon said...

Carol, I can identify so closely with this.

I don;t think you were reading my blog that far back, but I wrote about a similar situation in July last year (I think).

A Google search of ``authorblog'' and ``a is for alzheimer's'' should locate it, but if not, just let me know and I'll send you the url .....

Jenny said...

That was so sweet!

Sandi McBride said...

I think there's a little girl in each of us women yearning for a mother's warm hug...lovely post.
congratulations on the Post of the Day mention!

Sarah Laurence said...

I came via David’s blog. Congratulations! Sweet photo and memories. You remind me to call my mother.