~Prayers for Chardon, Ohio~

I've had a very difficult time trying to post anything this week. The senseless shootings at Chardon High School, which is our neighboring school district, has permeated all my thoughts and prayers. You cannot go anywhere around here without finding that every set of eyes that meet yours have the same, sad look about them. You each know what the other is thinking.

So far, three young men have lost their lives, one is still critical, and one very lucky young lady was discharged yesterday to her family.

Kudos go out to the teachers and faculty, the fire and police departments, the FBI, and the students for following directions at a time of fear. Praise to the teacher who chased the shooter out of the building, possibly saving more lives.

Please keep the families of the victims, as well as the tortured young man and his grandparents, in your prayers. There will need to be a great deal of healing here in NE Ohio.

~Prayer Over Folded Laundry~

Dear God, How many loads of laundry did I do over the course of my marriage, complaining to you that it just never seemed to end? How many stacks did I fold (sometimes muttering to myself) that the boys wore WAY too many pairs of socks and underwear in one week?

Tom and Jim just left to golf, and having walked into the house with his laundry in tow, Tom threw the loads into the washer and dryer and headed (per usual!) out the door. And here I am, folding my boy-man's laundry once again, and wondering if it will be the last time I will ever have the pleasure (yup...you heard me correctly, Lord) of doing it again?

Next year, he'll be married, and will have a new 'woman' to help him with it. Not me. I will no longer look at the stacks of 'not-too-white' whites, wondering why in tarnation he didn't throw bleach in with the load I'm folding! As his mom, it's no longer my responsibility. Another job taken away from me. Another job I was initially relieved to be rid of, only to find myself mourning its loss in the end. How foolish I was.

And so Lord, I once again thank you for giving me this child, this son you blessed us with. This Child of God who has blossomed into a beautiful adult in his own rite. And thank you, Lord, for lending him to me for the short while I had him under my wing. I have a feeling you approve of the job his father and I have done. He's grown into a fine young man.

Love,

Carol

P.S. I promise never to complain about doing laundry again. But about that ironing.....

~Angel In the Kitchen~

‘She’ first came to me very late at nite in the summer of 1993. I say ‘she’ because she had a strong, feminine voice. I may be wrong. But it’s how I think of her. I couldn’t sleep. I often find myself sitting in the kitchen in the middle of the nite on those kinds of nites.

My business had really grown since its start in 1989. I was doing over 20 art shows, as well as wholesale shows in Philidelphia, Atlanta and Chicago, twice a year. I had hundreds of shop and catalog accounts. I had eight employees. Several sales reps out in the field around the country. I was working 16-hour-days. You could say I was on “auto-pilot”: so revved up on caffeine and adreneline, there was no stopping me. Until that nite in the kitchen.

I was sitting on a stool at the island. Drinking iced tea. Just sitting. Tired. But content. At 17 and 10, both boys were doing well in school. Jim was quickly climbing the corporate ladder. Life was good. Her loud voice permeated the dimly-lit room. “WHHHHHOOOOOOO ARRRRREEEE YOU?” it boomed. I jumped. My heart was beating fast. I wasn’t really scared. Just startled. She filled the room with her presence. I knew what she meant. I had NO idea who I was. Yes….I was a mother of two sons. A wife to a man I adored. But had I lost ME??? Was there any ‘me’ left?? I sat there for a long time. She never said another word. She didn’t have to.

I was a great goal-setter. I’d set them each December for the upcoming year. When they were met, I’d set the next year’s goal higher. I’d always meet them. And so it continued. Like Topsy, the business grew and grew. One of my oldest friends, Babs, asked me then, “When is it enough?”. Why, it was never enough. There were always higher mountains to climb. Until that nite in the kitchen. I knew I was on the wrong path. I needed to make changes.

I got rid of my sales reps, and cut down my wholesale accounts to just my original shops and catalogs. I dropped my shows down to half the number. Much more ‘doable’. And I made time for me. I re-joined a health club, signed up for aerobics classes….and actually went to them! I was much healthier. And happier.

That wasn’t her last visit. She speaks much more quietly now. She knows she needn’t ‘yell’. I know when she’s here. I can almost predict when she’ll come. Like last nite. She knew I needed her visit.

It’s been a hellacious week with Mom. And we’re all so tired. And scared. Specially Mom. I pray that Mom has an angel that will fill her with the peace that my Angel gives me. I know she has one. It’s an Archangel. I know because of Mom’s description of him. Very very tall with HUGE wings showing past his shoulders and reaching down to the floor. I hope he’s with her this week. She needs him.

Postscript: Mom was admitted to the Geriatric Psychiatric ward at a nearby hospital yesterday for observation. Taking her there was the single, hardest thing I've ever had to do. She is very confused and scared. And very angry at me for taking her there. Please keep her in your prayers.

~A Letter To Heaven~

Dear Danny,

Your oldest son, Jonathan, got married on Saturday.
I know you are very proud of him. He married an angel. Her name is Ashley. She sparkles. All the time. And she really loves your son. You must have had some hand in their meeting, as I believe they are a 'match made in heaven', to be sure.

The wedding was perfect. Ashley's Great Uncle is a priest, so he said the mass. She's Italian, Dan. Isn't that something? And your wife, Kay. Well...she sparkled too, but there was a sadness I could see behind her eyes. She misses you. We all miss you, Dan.

I particularly felt your presence in that beautiful church. Joshua (youngest son) felt it too. We talked about it afterwards. There was a point during the ceremony that Jonathan caught Joshua's eye.....just for a second.....and Joshua said he was certain you were there. Watching. From heaven.

They missed their honeymoon in St. Lucia because of the winds driven by Hurricane Ike. They were really bummed. Did you have a hand in that, too, to keep your son and his new little bride safe? I bet you did!

All four of your step-children were there. With their own kids. They're all beautiful Dan, and doing so well. It's because of you, ya know. You stepped into their lives when they were all small. You raised them like they were your own. They all talked about you. They all acknowledge what you did for them.

Mom is doing 'okay'. She misses you terribly. We talk about you often. Her alzheimer's flares badly at times. But you already know that. Kathy took her pictures from the wedding on Sunday. Even yesterday when I visited her, we talked about Jonathan and Ashley, Kay, the kids.....you.

Do you hear me when I'm driving and praying and talking to you out loud? Do you see me cry when I think of you? Please know that we are all okay. Oh.....I'm a grandmother now!! I don't 'feel' old enough to be one. But I am. Who knew it would be so amazing? Jeff and Jackie have two beautiful children. You'd love them. They'd adore you.

Please say hello to dad. Let him know that I 'smell' his cigarette smoke every-once-in-a-while and I smile. I just know he's playing a lot of golf, and still cheering for the Browns and his beloved Indians. Tell him Kathy and I still sing, "Today Is Monday" and giggle. I miss him.

I love you, Dan. Kiss the angels for me, 'kay? And if God lends you his laptop....do ya think you can shoot me just one itty bitty email to let me know you're okay? Tell Him I'd really appreciate it.

Love 'From Here All The Way to Heaven',

Your Sister Carol

P.S. If there are any elves running around up there with nothing to do....can you please ask God to send them here for just 2 weeks. I could really use them, and would be ever grateful! xoxoxo

***Stop over at Pampering Beki's Blog to read other blogger's interpretations of FingerPrint Friday, that echos Stephen Curtis Chapman's song!***

~Pray for the People of Galveston~

I'm typing this from the library in another city. We have been without power, water and phones since Sunday.....a mere inconvenience compared to what the poor people of Texas have endured. They sent our linemen to Texas to help out. They will be back sometime this coming weekend.

We received 80 mph winds on Sunday. Our yard looks like a tornado went through it. Again, nothing compared to what Texas got. I'm certainly not complaining.

We have a generator we hook up to the sump pump, the freezer, the frig, and one lamp. I unplug the lamp to plug in the sewing machine and have gotten quite creative in finding new ways to jump all the extension cords all over the house! I had my first shower this morning at a friend's house. It felt mahhhhvelous!

So....I'm busily cutting, sewing and stuffing doll bodies. My first big show is in 2 weeks, and I can't afford to stop production now!! Not having electricity is a nuisance....but no water?? Yikes! We have to carry buckets of water from Rose Creek to flush the toilets. It takes 4 buckets to fill the bowl and tank for 1 flush. Yup....I use bathrooms elsewhere whenever I can!!

The puppies and I just visited Mom. I'll shower at her assisted living place tomorrow. Jim is showering at the health club on his way to week AFTER he heads to the gas station to fill the cans so I can keep the generator running!

So....no pictures today. Just please keep Galveston in your prayers.