~Angel In the Kitchen~

‘She’ first came to me very late at nite in the summer of 1993. I say ‘she’ because she had a strong, feminine voice. I may be wrong. But it’s how I think of her. I couldn’t sleep. I often find myself sitting in the kitchen in the middle of the nite on those kinds of nites.

My business had really grown since its start in 1989. I was doing over 20 art shows, as well as wholesale shows in Philidelphia, Atlanta and Chicago, twice a year. I had hundreds of shop and catalog accounts. I had eight employees. Several sales reps out in the field around the country. I was working 16-hour-days. You could say I was on “auto-pilot”: so revved up on caffeine and adreneline, there was no stopping me. Until that nite in the kitchen.

I was sitting on a stool at the island. Drinking iced tea. Just sitting. Tired. But content. At 17 and 10, both boys were doing well in school. Jim was quickly climbing the corporate ladder. Life was good. Her loud voice permeated the dimly-lit room. “WHHHHHOOOOOOO ARRRRREEEE YOU?” it boomed. I jumped. My heart was beating fast. I wasn’t really scared. Just startled. She filled the room with her presence. I knew what she meant. I had NO idea who I was. Yes….I was a mother of two sons. A wife to a man I adored. But had I lost ME??? Was there any ‘me’ left?? I sat there for a long time. She never said another word. She didn’t have to.

I was a great goal-setter. I’d set them each December for the upcoming year. When they were met, I’d set the next year’s goal higher. I’d always meet them. And so it continued. Like Topsy, the business grew and grew. One of my oldest friends, Babs, asked me then, “When is it enough?”. Why, it was never enough. There were always higher mountains to climb. Until that nite in the kitchen. I knew I was on the wrong path. I needed to make changes.

I got rid of my sales reps, and cut down my wholesale accounts to just my original shops and catalogs. I dropped my shows down to half the number. Much more ‘doable’. And I made time for me. I re-joined a health club, signed up for aerobics classes….and actually went to them! I was much healthier. And happier.

That wasn’t her last visit. She speaks much more quietly now. She knows she needn’t ‘yell’. I know when she’s here. I can almost predict when she’ll come. Like last nite. She knew I needed her visit.

It’s been a hellacious week with Mom. And we’re all so tired. And scared. Specially Mom. I pray that Mom has an angel that will fill her with the peace that my Angel gives me. I know she has one. It’s an Archangel. I know because of Mom’s description of him. Very very tall with HUGE wings showing past his shoulders and reaching down to the floor. I hope he’s with her this week. She needs him.

Postscript: Mom was admitted to the Geriatric Psychiatric ward at a nearby hospital yesterday for observation. Taking her there was the single, hardest thing I've ever had to do. She is very confused and scared. And very angry at me for taking her there. Please keep her in your prayers.

~Braking For God~

The studio was in full-swing. It was a hot August day nine years ago, and the wholesale orders from the Atlanta Gift Show were piled high. The girls and I were filling trays of orders, and the boxes for UPS were stacked to the ceiling. Shops and catalogs wanted their orders ‘yesterday'. I was pretty organized and had ordered plenty of supplies before we headed into the mid-summer gift shows….so I thought. Then it happened: we ran out of a much-used jewelry finding. We needed 350 more to fill the orders we had. Thank goodness that the supplier was only an hour’s drive, so I decided, migraine or not, to drive there to pick them up.

The morning had started peacefully enough. I had my precious half-an-hour with a book and a cup of coffee. I was touched by a short story in a “Chicken Soup for the Soul-type’ book. You know the kind: short little inspirational quippets that let you savor a brief ‘ahhh…that’s nice’ moment before heading on your way. The story was about a woman who had been praying for some sign from God, as she was having a difficult time making an important decision. She was stumped.

That same day, she was sitting in a friend’s kitchen, sharing a cup of coffee, when she commented to her friend, that there was a beautiful red cardinal at her feeder. Without even bothering to turn her head, the friend told her that it was impossible. She only had thistle seed in her feeder, and had never seen a cardinal there. When she turned around, sure enough: a cardinal! The woman was certain that this was her sign from God. The answer to her prayers.

Hmmmm….I thought. I have been praying for help on a particular problem. I was begging God for some help. I think I’ll ask God to send ME a cardinal if I'm leaning in the right direction. No….they never came to MY feeder either. Thistle seed was the answer to feeding the birds in our yard without attracting the raccoons and squirrels that lived to taunt my puppies. So that would be a great sign. Yeah, right, I thought. And I continued on with my day.

I armed myself with an Imitrex (migraine medication) and a cold iced tea, put on the darkest sunglasses I had, seatbelted myself in….and headed down the driveway holding back the tears. How was I going to get on 271 and drive an hour each way with this raging headache? I was half-way up our short street when I slammed on the brakes. I couldn’t believe it. There he was. Sitting in the middle of the road, looking up at me. I mean that bird was STARING at me. He had swooped down right in front of me and stood standing on the asphalt. He was the reddest, most beautiful cardinal I have ever seen. Headache or not. And he wasn’t leaving anytime soon. We both stared. Locked in time.

Now I’ve gotten signs from God before. Lots of times. But not as blatant as this time…unless you want to count the time I met an angel in my kitchen in the middle of the night. But that's a story for another post!

I had shared my cardinal story with Mel, and it had touched her as deeply as it had touched me. And she remembered my long-ago encounter when she added the cardinal border to the beautiful Frosty pillow. Thank you, Mel. And thank you, God….for sending me cardinals in the oddest of moments…in the strangest of ways. You have my attention!