Today was the first day of my life without my mom. She was with me from the moment of my birth, every day of my life. Until today. It’s a feeling of loss like none I have ever felt before. A huge void.
The one thing I CAN say is that I am very happy for her. She is no longer in pain. No longer suffering from the humiliation of having others care for her every need. No longer enduring ‘pureed’ foods and wearing diapers. No longer unable to talk and let others know her needs. No longer unable to walk.
I will miss her smiles. Her hugs. Her touch. I will miss just being there with her.
I was lucky enough to be able to spend time alone at my mother’s bedside after she died. One of the sweet aides brought in a fresh pot of coffee….and I poured a cup, and shared a last cup with my mother. Very bittersweet. It will have to last me until we share a cup of coffee again....in heaven~