As July comes to a close, I find myself reflecting on this month's happenings: the good things, and the not-so-good things. July brought lots of changes here. The fireworks that opened the month brought many unexpected blessings at its end: a family wedding, a planned trip, a surprise visit from an old friend. It brought renewed joy in meeting my Mother where she is….not where I wish her to be. That’s a big thing. I’m now paying closer attention and rejoicing in her smiles.
There were lots of changes, and for me, change often brings fear. The changes in resurrecting my business have been monumental, starting with this blog. I’m actually enjoying it. My fears of failing at it were quickly put to rest. As the orders and emails quickly filled my mailbox I actually had to say “No” to a sweet shop-owner from Colorado. For now, that’s a good thing! I’m fighting to keep this a “One-Woman” show….never wanting to grow it to the frenzied way-of-life it was in the 80’s. 
Back then I was almost tripping over the unshaven hair on my legs and didn’t remember that dental floss wasn’t to be used solely for tying bends in little dolls’ arms and legs! I experienced the terror of arriving at a wholesale show to find my product and entire booth set-up hadn't shown up. I remember the days of looking at my sister and saying, “What day is this?”, “What city are we in?” and the infamous, “Are you sure we ate, ‘cause I’m starved!?”. Nope: I don’t want to go back there. Not ever.
Don’t get me wrong. There were highs: lots of laughter, and a few near-heart attacks sprinkled in. Like the time we arrived in Chicago to find blizzard conditions, decided to turn in our rental car at the close of the first day of the 5-day Beckman’s show, and ended up wandering into a high-class (we think!) bordello. Or in our rush to make our plane after a record-breaking show in Valley Forge, we discovered I'd left my briefcase with all its orders, in the booth at the Italian restaurant. Thanks to our sweet waitress running after us as we pulled out of the parking lot, nothing was lost. Another time I watched as my sister literally chugged Pepto-Bismal on our way back to the airport in Baltimore....praying that she wouldn't throw up on the plane!
In those days, my boys knew that whenever they smelled freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies when pushing open the back door after school, that their mom was feeling like she wasn’t “mothering” them enough. Their next questions were always: “Oh no. Where are those over-ripe bananas?” or “Do I taste that ‘bran stuff' in these?” Jim bought me the painting you see posted above, at one of the art shows we did. It hangs in the back hall. I'm sorry I cannot read the artist's signature to give her credit. It's beautiful and very meaningful.
Now I have time to breathe. To dance. To smell the roses growing in my garden. To wake up in the morning and head outdoors to walk in the woods, instead of greeting employees. Now I have time for grandchildren; time for a book club; time for the gym. (okay….I intend to fit it in come August!) Time to pray more than I ever took the time to do during those frenzied days. And with each prayer, I discover more blessings. Everywhere. I wonder what new ones August will bring?
