Wednesday, February 18, 2009

~Like A Box Of Chocolates~


Mom’s been doing amazingly well these days, in spite of her alzheimer’s. The ‘normal’ windows seem to be lasting longer and longer. I don’t know why, but I find myself actually forgetting that she even HAS alzheimer’s!


Lately, she’s very concerned about how I am, if I’m working too much, and whether I’m sleeping at nite. It’s really quite dear. She actually told me last nite not to come to see her today if it would be better for me to stay home and work in my studio. She’s NEVER said that before. It brought me to tears.


She’s noticed that I’ve lost too much weight these past few weeks, and like any mother, she’s worried. It felt so good to know she remembered to tell me to eat. “Little bits” she said. I told her that I loved her for that. “For what?” she asked. “For worrying about what’s best for me” I said. “Well….what kind of a mother would I be if I DIDN’T?”. Yup….she is indeed a good mother. Even during the times she’s confused and forgets.


My visits with Mom truly ARE like a box of chocolates. You just never can tell what you’re going to get when you walk into her room, or call her on the phone. When alzheimer’s rears its ugly head, you’re very likely to come up with a very bitter, nutty piece of stale chocolate. When it ‘comes-and-goes’ during our visits, the chocolate you get is one with rich, creamy filling. And when the visit is perfect, the one you get is such a decadent piece of rum-soaked goodness that it makes the sides of your mouth turn upward in the most pleasing kind of smile. It lingers on your tongue, and in your mind for a long long time. Those are the sweetest visits. The ones that let you know that all is right with the world. With her world. And with mine.



This post won Post of the Day
over at Authorblog. Thank you, David. I am so very honored!

51 comments:

Darlene said...

Oh Carol you have described it sooooo well. My grandmother had Alzheimer's and it is so true you just never knew what she would "know" that day. I'm so sorry you and your mother are going through this. Hugs to you.♥

QuietCypher said...

Sorry to hear about your mother, but you guys still seem to have fun together. Your mother also seems to be very strong and that is also another thing.

Pink Slippers said...

What a wonderful post with such sweet thoughts for your Mom. I really like the picture you posted. It has lots of something very special in it.
Wendy

Ballerina Girl said...

what a beautiful picture...
and how true your words are. this was beautifully stated Carol, thank you for sharing. and may the good times outlast the ugly ones...
BG

April said...

Carol~
I can only imagine how hard it must be having a mom with Alzheimer's Disease. My father-in-law had dementia along with Progressive Supranuclear Palsy, so I can relate to a lot of what you wrote about. One day can be vastly different from the next.
I wish you both the very best on this journey.

Suldog said...

God bless you both, and enjoy all of the wonderful "chocolates" remaining in the box!

Meet Joey said...

Aunt Carol, Thanks for sharing about your Mom. When I think of you, I also think of her because I know how important she is... has always been, to you. When you say that things are all right with the world it brings peace to my world too! Love, Tom

Swapna said...

Hello Carol, thanks ..my daughter is very well.. your post is soooo touching.. hope your mom has the best of 'chocolates' everyday...

Journey of Love Designs said...

what a beautiful entry! hope you will have more good times with you mother.

Be Jeweled By Candi said...

What an awesome post, it brought tears to my eyes - Moms are awesome! Enjoy the time!

sandy said...

Glad to hear the good times seem to be more prevalent. It's a hard situation on people. I like your descripiton and know many people in your situation. I do think small headway with the disease is being made; but hope for more. So many people are affected with this disease either directly or indirectly.

Get some rest, take care of yourself; otherwise you both suffer.

Sandy
welcome mats always out, please stop in for a visit.

San said...

Beautiful. Just beautiful, Carol.

You have an award over at my place. When you have a chance, come and collect it. And make an acceptance speech.

:-)

Beadin By The Sea said...

What a beautiful post. I love your analogy to chocolates. It brought tears to my eyes, reading about your mother and having to deal with this awful disease. I lost my Mom almost 20 years ago to lung cancer; it warms my heart to see how you cherish every moment with her.

Janette Kearns Wilson said...

What a beautiful observation and simile.
Good to have found you

Sandi McBride said...

You have it all nailed down, Carol. That is exactly what it's like...the understanding of it doesn't make it easier, but it makes it clearer. My FIL had Alzheimers and I admired my SIL so much for all she did for him...you're in our prayers, as is your lovely Mother.
Sandi

david mcmahon said...

I hear you loud and clear. My mother had Alzheimer's as well.

In fact, you can still read a post I did on the subject if you Google ``authorblog'' and ``A is for Alzheimer's''. If you can't find it, just let me know and I'll send you the link ....

Deb said...

Hi ~ Long time since I have visited and I was thrilled that you stopped in over at my place. This is a beautiful post and a tribute to you and your mom. Sending warm wishes and prayers your way! Take care.

Nancy said...

That's wonderful that you have those sweet little moments. Hold on to them tightly!

Monkeylover! said...

you seem like a VERY VERY busy person. but al least your enjoying it!
ps visit my blog

Lynne Countenance Jewelry / BeadyIze said...

I'm so glad to hear about your "good" time with your mom. I'm sure it was a breath of fresh air for you. Thank you for sharing with us.

Lynne

Fat, frumpy and fifty... said...

Lovely post!! special moments, is what we live for...

ArneA said...

Beautiful post.
My mother in law went through a similar proces and at last I did not want to visit her. I wanted to remember her as she was, before.
She died in December 2006 after celebrating 100 years.

French Fancy said...

I came to you via authorblog. Well done on being POTD and it is thoroughly deserved.

Zlaek said...

Beautiful!

So lovely :-) :-)
God bless you and your family
XOX

ZLAEK

Moannie said...

I cannot imagine how it must be to have your mother slip away into that awful disease...MS took mother's movements away but her brain remained alert and vital to the end. My heart goes out to you both and your sweet chocolates.

lmerie said...

Over from David's . . . very heart touching and thoughtful post.

:)

Jeni said...

A well-deserved award to you from David. Beautiful post. I don't know why though but it never came up on my reader. Hmmm. Wonder why that was.
Keep enjoying the "chocolate" in your life.

Pinkerbell said...

My grandma was the dearest person to me in my entire life, of all the people I've ever known and ever will know and she had Alzheimers for quite a few years at the end of her life. It was sad to see her forget things, which would get worse when she was stressed or uncomfortable, so the first half of a visit was usually hard work until she settled into natural conversation. Then I would learn wonderful things about her past and share her early memories, the times she was still able to remember, without her worrying about telling me recent things. No tales of what she had for breakfast or what she did last week, because she couldn't remember. Instead I shared beautiful memories of her girlhood. I miss her dreadfully, the whole of her - alzheimers included.

You cannot separate the person from the condition, but hopefully you'll know what I mean about the times when you see the beauty and feel the force of the strong memories which she still holds.

Craig Glenn said...

What a great and sweat story! Well told and from the heart. Congrats on POTD!!!

Craig

loong said...

yes it lingers no toungue,how delicious is it ,good nite

Census (aka Cen aka June.S) said...

I love your description Carol..it is so accurate. I have the same experience with my mum.
Thank you for this wonderful article, it brightened my day and made me smile gently.....someone else understands.
Hugs and thanks
June

Woman in a Window said...

I'm so glad you're still able to have those perfect days with her. That photo is a pleasure!

Marci said...

You've come a long way Carol. Your attitude towards your mom's horrible disease has acceptance, touched with love and understanding now (without the bitterness). Growing. That's what it's all about! ... really enjoyed the picture - havent' seen a picture of your mom in a long time!

Hilary said...

Beautifully expressed, Carol. Enjoy those chocolates while you still can.

Anvilcloud said...

It looks like she thoroughly enjoys the grandkids, and you of course.

Those chocolates look scrumptious.

Rose said...

What a great post. Thanks for the fond memories it evoked in me. My mother has been gone a couple of year now. I never knew what I would walk in on. Well written.

artsyclay said...

What a beautiful analogy! It's so hard to watch our beloved parents decline. I remember thinking during my mom's last few weeks, "I want to remember every word she says, every gesture she makes." Those precious moments become the sweet memories in our hearts.

Mommy Lisa said...

Lovely as usual, and one of the reasons I gave you an award at my blog!

Lemon Shortbread said...

Thank you for sharing this with us, very meaningful post to stop and ponder as well.

Carolyn said...

Hi Carol,
This is a beautiful post and so well told.I can certainly relate.
On the way home from church today I suddenly remembered you asked me about the little chefs hat and I forgot to reply, but my daughter said it came with the little stove Olivia got for Christmas.With all the beautiful things you make I bet you could whip one up for your Ella.Sorry it is so long ago you are probably wondering what I am talking about!!
Keep up the good work,
Carolyn

Lynne (lynnesgiftsfromtheheart) said...

Oh Carol, we had hubby's mother with us for almost 2 years with Alzheimers, and each day was such a gift.. almost like a box of chocolates, you never knew what to expect that day.. I'm sorry it's taken me so long in getting around to thank you for stopping by the blog.. life has gotten in the way big time. I had to put hubby in the hospital.. he's doing much better now,, just a roller coaster ride we're going to be on from here on out.. I hope you've had a super w/k.. hugs ~lynne~

Jules~ said...

Carol, I am only just coming by now to read this post. How sorry I am that it took me so long.
I am so grateful that you can still have these precious times with your mom.

I pray that you are doing well. I know sometimes life is too busy to hang out and blog and I see it has bee na couple of weeks for you. Even when things are hard and fast, know that we are here for you with no pressure and that I am praying for your family.

Swapna said...

Hi,I have an award for you..hope u like it..

The Pink Bird House said...

Oh Carol, what a beautiful post! And what a way to think of the times that you spend with your mother, as something likened to a box of chocolates. You never know what you might get that day! It just brought tears to my eyes to think of it. Your post was so well written, true beauty behind your words, and much much love!! I will be thinking of you, hoping the good-chocolate days far outweigh the stale chocolate ones!! Holding you in my thoughts and prayers. Debby (it has been a while since I have dropped by many of my favorite blogs because I was in the hospital with knee surgery and and I am not quite myself. )

LizzyT said...

Your post has made me smile and brought tears to my eyes. Remember to take care of yourself too! I have an award for you on my blog http://lizzytdesigns.blogspot.com

Amy said...

Your description is so true. I felt that way with my Grandma each time I was with her. It is just so hard to understand and more importantly=unfair!!
Amy

My Little Raggedy Blessings said...

Awww sweetie You said it so well Bless your heart . From someone who fully understands the heartache in it all I am sending you a great big (((HUG))) enjoy those good days hon and just pray for lots of strength and take lots of deep breaths in the ones that are not so good .I know it is very hard never knowing from minute to minute day to day and the drive there wondering how they will be when you get there . Just cherish every minute as I know you do from your words .

Have a good week-end
Renae

Alisha said...

I came for fingerprint Friday..but read this too...I am sorry to hear about your mother and here's to more of the rum day's! :)

Southern Traditions Boutique said...

Carol,
That's a beautiful story....My grandmother had Alzheimers too, and it was so hard on my Aunt that lived close to her. I will pray that her "windows" are more frequent and enjoyable ;)
God Bless and you're in my thoughts and prayers!
Torri

glentwistle said...

I am also losing my mother. Not to Alzheimer's but to Pulminary Hypertension. I know like you I treasure those creamy rum soaked days when she has strength and breat enought to say I love you. May you have many wide open window days.

cloudcapjewelry.etsy.com said...

I lost my mom 6 months ago to Alzheimer's. Enjoy the time that you have with your mom... take lots of pictures. God and you together can handle anything.