Tuesday, November 4, 2008

~Dancing With Mom~


Life was always a dance with her. A quick-step in the beginning of my life. She was always there. Standing firmly. Teaching me to take my first steps. She was there on my first day of kindergarten. Standing firmly. Waiting for me to come home. Always there.

Life became a fox-trot with the arrival of my two siblings. She was busier. The dance moved more quickly. There were carrots to peel, clothes to iron, pies to bake. She did it all. Always. She created a secure, happy childhood for her three children. Dancing quickly. Standing firmly.

She taught the three of us to dance quickly, too. Jitter-bugging our way through life. All three of us. Excelling. Striving for the best. Dancing faster and faster. Twirling and swirling our way with her watching us. Always. Ready to pick us up if we stumbled and fell. We faithfully followed her lead.

The dance took on a new rhythm when my brother, Dan, died. I didn’t think she’d ever dance again. And three months later, Dad passed away. Would any of us ever dance again? We did. The dance took on a meloncholy rhythm. A slow, sad two-step. Through broken bones. Surgeries. Chronic pain. Sometimes the dancing came to a halt. But it always began again. To much slower music.

Now with alzheimer’s riddling Mom’s body, the only way she can dance, is holding on to someone else. She barely hears the music anymore. You have to be very still to hear it. But it’s there.

So, I dance with her. Slowly. To a gentle, soft waltz. Swaying to the music. Lovingly. Still faithfully following her lead. Because, for now, it is as fast as she can dance. I am there for her. Standing firmly. Just like she was for me. Always.

This post won the Post Of the Day award at David's Authorblog.

33 comments:

Jeni said...

A beautiful post. Just beautiful.

Barbra said...

What a read! Just beautiful and heart rendering. My thoughts are with you as I have been there.

Mel said...

Beautiful...as always...I can only pray that my girls will have such precious memories...and share similar feelings about their Mama. You are so blessed my friend.

Anonymous said...

Carol, what an amazing tribute to your mom. I had chills as I read your beautiful words. Your talent is limitless. God bless you and your mom.
Judie

Patti said...

Carol, what a lovely blog about your dance with your mom. It gave me the chills when I read it, in a happy but bittersweet way. Thinking of you and your mom today and always.

Nadia said...

That was beautiful! My Grandmother is showing signs of Alzheimer's and its heart wrenching.

Carolyn said...

Hi Carol,
Such a beautiful sentimental post.I know how sad it is as my Mom is in the mid stage but I am thankful that most days she is happy and we can still have our te
a and a chat.
I love how well you write.
Take care,
Carolyn

womaninawindow said...

And the daughter becomes the mother and I hurt for you.

Lovely this was. Would love to see a young photo of her. I remember a more current one you posted a while ago but somehow a younger one. Oh, love the old.

Mushy said...

What a tender post...brought a tear to my eye and a prayer to my lips - for you both!

2nd Cup of Coffee said...

What a beautiful tribute, Carol. This post probably represents the memories and current trials of a lot of women today. You should think about submitting this for publication.

Sandi McBride said...

Carol, she still hears the music honey...she's just in another room... ...such a beautiful heartstring piece and a wonderful tribute to your dear Mother...I came in to say "thanks for dropping by my place" and I'm so glad you did...that way I could return the visit and what a visit it was!
Sandi

Amy said...

I think this is the most moving post I have ever read anywhere! I love how you painted the picture for the story to take shape. I too know what Alzheimer's can do to people you love - having both relatives and friends deal with this very truly UNFAIR thing!!!
All the best to you today and beyond, too.
Thanks for your visit and comment recently.
Amy

LillyB said...

This was beautiful! Life is about making memories! Yesterday I made a copy of a recipe that my mom wrote down for me (she asked for it back...misplaced hers) so when I mailed it, I sent her the copy and kept the original. I thought this is in her handwriting and I want to keep it...I still have a handwritten recipe for sugar cookies my great grandmother wrote when she was still alive...Every day we should make a good memory!
Beautiful blog, Thank you so much for sharing! God Bless!!

justabeachkat said...

Carol

Thanks for visiting me and for your sweet comment. I hope you'll come again...you're always welcome.

I've sure enjoyed my visit here to your lovely blog. Wow...what a beautiful post you wrote today. It gave me sweet chills.

Hugs!
Kat

CIELO said...

Beautiful post, Carol..... I've added you to my blog list....

Have a good day..

cielo

Kim said...

just now catching up :)
I will post the recipe at some point, life's a little busy right now, but I will do it :)

® ♫ The Brit ♪ ® said...

Hi Carol,
What a sad heartbreaking post, but a truly beautiful tribute to your wonderful Mum!
She does still hear the music... my own Grandmother battled Alzheimer's for years and my Mum took care of her round the clock, 24/7 with the help of my Sister and I... some days she would be so alive and alert and be laughing and joking with us all but then other days she would be sitting in her chair looking at all of us curiosly as if we were strangers. Sometimes on those days my Mum would ask her "Who am I Mum?" and she would reply "I don't know who you are..." and my Mum would reply "But Mum it's me! I'm your Daughter!" then my Grandmother would look at her deep in the eyes and say "No you're not! I don't have a Daughter!"
On those days I would see my Mum's heart break in front of me and she would be crying for days.

It's a terrible disease that robs people of their memories.
I wish all the very best for you and your Mum... at the end of the day all that matters is love. x

Shrinky said...

Oh Carol, you have such a powerful pen. Eyes filled reading this, so true love, so very true. Bless you. x

Bobbi Jo said...

WOW! That was just beautiful and touching. What a wonderful tribute to your mom. Give her a hug from all of us. Hugs, Bobbi Jo-AZ

david mcmahon said...

Thank you for your wonderful comment on my blog, Carol.

This post of yours has special resonance for me, because my mother suffered with Alzheimer's and I wrote a post about her some months ago. From memory, it was an ABC Wednesday post and it was called A Is For Alzheimer's.

If you can't find it, let me know and I'll send you the url .....

Joyfulsister said...

Hi Carol..
(((Hugz))) Wow!! I read every word with my heart and it touched me more than you could ever imagine. I think families going through the same journey with their parents can truly relate. Thank you so much for sharing this with us, I pray this post finds it's way to the hearts of many..I think it should be published, so keep sharing it *smile*.

Hugz Lorie

jacqueline said...

This is just beautiful! Touched me dearly. Thanks for sharing. n_n

® ♫ The Brit ♪ ® said...

Hi Carol,
Just stopping by here again to congratulate you on winning Post Of The Day from David McMahon!!
Truly very well-deserved!
Big Hug x

Crystal Jigsaw said...

Thoroughly enjoyed your post. Families are so special to me. I love the way your mum danced. She will always dance in her mind.

CJ xx

Lanyardlady said...

as long as your mom has you she has the music. thanks for sharing such a touching post.

Moannie said...

That was so heart wrenchingly beautiful...made me think of my own mother and how she loved to dance, then when MS confined her to a wheelchair and quadraplegia I would pick up her arms and hold them around my neck and we would sway together as she sang.

Huge hugs, they have just gone over the horizon. Strange that the identification letters spell 'unded'

Daryl said...

What a loving tribute.

Thanks for visiting

:-Daryl

thedomesticfringe said...

This post made me cry. My grandma has Alzhiemer's too. It's so hard and sad to watch her disappear. Thank you for a beautiful post...a real tribute to your mom.

quilly said...

This post deserved to win the POTD award at David's. You have painted a beautiful and loving portrait of your life with your mother.

Nothinglikeit said...

Wonderful post - Full of a love that only a daughter can know.

Robin

Periwinkle Studio said...

Wow! That was so beautiful and touched my heart! Thank you so much!

Fat, frumpy and fifty... said...

fab post..really evocative...a lovely tribute, i would be so proud...

Hilary said...

What a tender and touching post. You write beautifully. Keep hearing the music - and dance.