~Mother's Day 2011~

Dear God,

I thank you for giving me my dear mother (she turns 91 this month) and for my Mother-in-Law....who I learned to love and cherish deeply. We had our ups-and-downs.....but we loved each other very much before she entered Your Kindgdom 9 years ago.

My Mother taught me so many things: how to sew, to clean, to cook....heck, I can even defrost a refrigerator with pans of boiling water and use liquid starch on dampened, rolled white shirts you store in the frig til their ready!! (thank you God for frost-free refrigerators and permanent press shirts!!) She taught me the value of an education, the importance of family, and how to love unconditionally.

She taught me to never give up...no matter how hard the task-at-hand. She taught me to work hard.....that nothing worth anything comes easily. I have the work-ethic I do because of my Mother.

Although she has suffered these past years with alzheimer's, Lord, I know You are on that tough path with her. As much as I pray that You take her home so she doesn't suffer any more, I know that that is not Your plan....but mine.

Thank you for blessing me with the great honor of being the mother of the two most amazing sons ever. I know you just lent them to me for a short while....let me hold their hands for a bit ....but oh the wonderful joy they bring. I am SO very proud of both of them, for the great young men they've become, and the life-partners they were so wise to choose.














You made me wait a very long time for 'daughters'....but oh were they worth the wait!! Jackie is not only one of my sweetest gifts....but she is a beautiful mother to our three precious grandbabies!!

And Amy. Sigh. Amy makes me realize....without even knowing it....that you can never be close enough to Our Lord. She is the perfect addition to our ever-growing family~

Thank you, God, for all the blessings You continually bestow on me. I am ever-grateful~

Your Loving Daughter,

Carol

p.s. Please let all the Mothers in the world have a beautiful Mother's Day

~Mother's Day 2009~

Dearest Mom,

When I was little, I never imagined you’d grow old. Ever. After all…you were my mom: fearless, beautiful, smart. Sparkling and smiling. Strong.

You made me feel safe. And loved. Even when you were mad at me. I’m trying so hard to make you feel that way now.

It’s frightening to step into your room, not knowing ‘who’ I’ll find. Will it be the woman whose eyes twinkle when she sees me standing there….or the one who is scared and confused and begging me to tell her where she is and how she got there? Will I find the woman who has forgotten that her own mother passed away over 30 years ago, and asks why my father hasn’t been there to see her lately or the one who inquires about how the doll-making is coming along?

You were always so patient with me. And I’m trying so hard to be patient with you….when you can’t walk very quickly, or when you call and tell me you’ve been “waiting by the door for hours” for me, when we really had no plans to go anywhere. You get mad…and tell me, “We did SO. You just forgot, young lady”. It breaks my heart.

I try so hard to put myself in your shoes. To know the fear in your heart when you can’t remember where your home is....or the belief that you are “stuck at work and everyone’s left” and you have no way home. I can’t imagine the terror. I see it in your eyes whenever I try to reassure you that you are not at work…that you’ve been retired for over 30 years and that you ARE home. Safe. And loved. I can tell you feel anything but.

And now…shingles. Oh, Mom…..I am SO sorry this is happening to you. I have to admit that I’m mad at God right now. REALLY mad. I know I shouldn’t be…..but I am. Why God…WHY?

And so….this Mother’s Day…I can’t even send this to you, because I don’t want you to read this and see how bad things really are, and that you are suffering from Alzheimer's Disease. Reading that would make the horror worse for you than it already is.

Just know that I love you with all my heart. And that I am here. Whenever you need me. Always. Just like you were for me.

Love,

Your Daughter Carol